Contains spoilers for the Back To The Future trilogy (1985-1990), The Addams Family (1991), and Addams Family Values (1993).
A while back, I wrote a post titled Neo vs. John Wick where I put the two Keanu Reeves’ characters through five different rounds to determine the ultimate Keanu. Today, Doc Brown and Uncle Fester will face off to reveal the ultimate Christopher Lloyd character.
Dr Emmet Lathrop Brown, or more simply, Doc Brown, or even more simply, Doc, is a nice enough name. But why have nice, when you can have an Addams? Doc Brown says his family name was originally Von Braun, which inspires further unoriginality. Fester says it himself: “My name is Fester. It means to rot.” Beautiful, concise, and original.
Winner: Uncle Fester
If the old adage what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger has any meaning, then Fester has had quite a few power ups. Sure, Doc Brown was shot by Libyan terrorists, and in the hat by Buford Tannen, but he smartly used a bulletproof vest the second time around. Alas, feast your eyes on this, Fester survives a bathtub electrocution and somehow acclimates the energy into his body allowing him to power a lightbulb through his mouth. He also survives being bombed (also by Debbie Jellinsky) but it is nary a concern to the infallible Fester. In The Addams Family (1991), Fester also survives being struck by lightning, which is maybe why he can conduct electricity in the sequel – not because of science, but because he is an Addams. He was also found caught in tuna nets in the Bermuda Triangle.
Winner: Uncle Fester
Despite Uncle Fester’s physical prowess, his kryptonite is love. He falls for Debbie Jellinsky and ends up unwittingly putting his family in danger. He just loses his head, caught up in the romance of it all. When the Doc falls in love with Clara, he goes a little off the rails and drinks one whisky, but he manages to keep himself together in order to get Marty back to the future – even coming up with a plan that allows him to stay with his beloved. He also never forgets to look after Copernicus and Einstein. Furthermore, he is able to counteract his physical weaknesses with his inventions and smarts.
Winner: Doc Brown
Ok, last time round 4 was gun skills, however, that’s not too applicable to these characters so we’ll instead look at quotability. Uncle Fester has some really great lines, such as “When he was asleep, I opened his skull, and removed his brains!” However, his lines are difficult to segue into everyday conversation. The Doc, on the other hand, is snappy. I mean, Great Scott! He delivers his lines with such pizzazz, and the everyday quotability is available every time someone says the words “heavy” or “roads”.
Winner: Doc Brown
Of course Fester has style, the little black number and smoky-eye is timeless – a signature look, if you will. However, he generally lacks variation. The Doc, on the other hand, sports sweet Vandal Highs, a bright yellow suit, hazmat coveralls, and a cowboy hat (not simultaneously, but he could probably pull it off anyway). He also appreciates that fashion doesn’t have to be functional. Solid metal sunglasses? Check. Clear tie? Also check. His style is simply avant-garde in a way Fester’s can never be. Doc’s style also extends to his inventions, he even says it himself: “The way I see it, if you’re gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?”
Winner: Doc Brown
Final scores: Uncle Fester 2 | Doc Brown 3
And the winner is… Doc Brown! What can I say? In the name of Sir Isaac H. Newton, he’s smart, he’s witty, and a snappy dresser.
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