Kindergarten Cop 2 (2016)
Tagline: “They can smell fear.”
Kindergarten Cop 2 is an American comedy film directed by Don Michael Paul. It stars Dolph Lundgren in the starring role as Agent Zack Reed. It is, unsurprisingly, a sequel to Ivan Reitman’s Kindergarten Cop (1990). The main issue with this film is that Lundgren tries to mimic Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Detective John Kimble which makes it feel more like somebody misheard the whole 1990 film and remade that. Kindergarten Cop 2 was released straight-to-DVD but maybe it would have been better to be released straight-to-the-trash.
Splash, Too (1988)
Tagline: “Four years ago, a man and a mermaid swam away with your heart. Look who’s back making waves. Splash, Too. A romantic tail.”
Splash, Too is a made-for-television sequel to the 1984 fantasy romcom Splash starring Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah. Splash, Too stars Todd Waring and Amy Yasbeck who are playing Allen and Madison four years after they swam away together in the first film. They return to New York, having seemingly forgotten the entire premise of the first film and why they left in the first place. If you want to make a film about rescuing a dolphin named Salty from captivity, it’s probably best not to make it a sequel to an entirely unrelated plot. I also think it’s worth mentioning that the title, Splash, Too, makes little sense both grammatically and in meaning.
The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)
Tagline: “Every teen thinks terrible thoughts… Hers are deadly.”
The Rage: Carrie 2 is a sequel to Brian De Palma’s 1976 film adaptation of Stephen King’s novel Carrie, written in 1974. Seeming to have been spurred on by the success of teen horror films in the 1990s, United Artists thought it would be a good idea to make a Carrie sequel. The plot follows Carrie White’s younger sister, the also telekinetic Rachel Lang. It lacks much of the original thematic content in the first film, negating to explore the religious themes that were so pivotal to the original narrative. Despite the film receiving mostly negative critical reviews, there are a number of die hard fans which led it develop somewhat of a cult following.
More American Graffiti (1979)
Tagline: “More laughs. More music.”
More American Graffiti is a sequel to George Lucas’s 1973 coming-of-age American Graffiti. Whereas the first film was an exploration of the relationship between teenagers and rock’n’roll culture in 1960s California, the sequel tries to demonstrate a where-are-they-now narrative. More so than the plot, the issue is in the way the film is presented; a collection of four New Year’s Eves from 1964-1967 interspersed with one another giving the idea all the events happened simultaneously. The scenes from each year are shot in a different style, but it comes together as seeming haphazard and lacking cohesion.
Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997)
Tagline: “Rush hour hits the water.”
Speed 2: Cruise Control, sequel to the hit action thriller Speed (1994), is really quite terrible. Pretty much every element of filmmaking in this picture is bad, from wooden acting to jerky camera angles. Maybe the worse thing about Speed 2 is the fact it killed what could have been a great franchise stone cold dead in 126 minutes. I’m sure Keanu is happy he swerved this one.
What do you think about these bizarre sequels? For me, the worse one has to be Speed 2: Cruise Control.
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